This post probably is not going to make me popular, but I feel that it’s something that I should post anyway.

I would like to place it in context though, not because I am afraid or worried about annoying people or hurting their feelings, but because I believe it is important to know where I am coming from to have an idea about what I am trying to say.

When I first entered the clinic almost 18 months ago I determined I was not going to be like some of the people I had met that had quit smoking. You probably know the kind: selfrightious crusaders that have seen the light and now feel it is their duty to convert mankind to the healthy lifestyle they now have chosen for themselves. Not to mention them forcing being a bloody nuisance at parties and especially developing that irritating and smug attitude with which they enforce their smokefree habitat by oh so politely coughing whenever a whiff of smoke nears their nostrils.

In short, going from one extreme to the other and forcing people to adapt their entire life to what basically is my problem.

So, this article is not about that. I’m not about to say you can or can’t do things, that’s entirely up to you. I am however going to point to an issue that I feel needs addressing, which is the seriously misplaced social connotation that alcohol has in our society.

What do I mean by this?

Basically I am pointing to the fact that a lot of people seem to be unable to enter a formal social occasion anymore without there at least being a few drinks. It’s everywhere.

Ending the week with collegues: drink, meeting a friend: drink, having completed an assignment: drink, having a dinner with someone: drink.

Now, in itself this is not a problem. The problem arises when people can’t celebrate properly anymore without it. And I see this more and more. Somehow people seem to feel that such an occasion isn’t “complete” when there isn’t a drink in sight.

I know of more than a few people who have serious problems going to birthday parties if they are unable to drink. They will go, sure, but not after having very serious discussions about it and then basically feeling miserable and out of sorts all evening. I know a lot of people who cannot celebrate something good without ordering a beer.

These are “normal” people, who aren’t considered addicts. They don’t binge, don’t visit the pub normally and don’t exhibit any signs of having a problem with alcohol. Yet they feel out of sorts without a drink at positive occasions.

So why am I writing this?

Two reasons:

One is purely for myself. I feel that one of the reasons I still have to justify my non-drinking to people (which is patently absurd) is because of this attitude. Some people still seem to think that my life has become terribly boring now that I don’t drink anymore and ask me “how I cope”. I spend lots of time getting rid of the connections between alcohol and fun, because the connection is arbitrary. That’s hard to do when people around you keep reinforcing the original connection because they don’t see it in themselves. It’s hard for me to hear people say “Let’s have a drink, we deserve it”. It makes me feel left out of the loop and basically it’s not fair. There is no other way to put it, because it isn’t. So reason one is anger, and feeling left out. I’m tired of being judged over something by people who don’t see the seeds of the same thing in themselves. I shouldn’t have to, and I won’t. I still am trying to figure out how to deal with it, though.

The other reason is worry. Ever since leaving the clinic I see more and more people who are on some level dependent on drink. That’s not a nice conclusion, but I feel it’s a true one nonetheless. The basic test is whether you can do without, and loads of people don’t pass that test. However we may try to disguise it, whatever kind of justification we may concoct, the basic bare fact is that alcohol is a crutch to survive for lots of people. Even in situations where you don’t need that crutch at all.I feel that that is something that we should look in the eye and try to deal with.

In the end, it’s people’s own choice of course. It’s not destroying their lives in a big way, it’s just nibbling away at the edges. I just feel that one should be honest to oneself. But that’s me.

So, on that inconclusive note, I wish you a good day.