Taking Responsibility
Claiming your own Life
One of the first things you are told when entering a clinic specialised in addictions (I will not use the word “rehab” since it implies you have to atone for some sin) is that you are wholly responsible for the situation you find yourself in. This may seem harsh and unforgiving and quite frankly, it is. However, it is also the foundation on which everything else you do from hereon is built.
Taking responsibility for majorly screwing your life up may be hard, it may sometimes seem almost impossible, but it also gives you a huge sense of freedom. Addiction itself is a status quo, it cannot be cured, but you can learn to live with it. It is up to me to use alcohol and face the consequences it brings, or it is up to me to choose not to.
Three Months
This was the hardest part to learn. For me personally, but I have met no one in the clinic that didn’t need at least three months to let it sink in. People tend to ask “So you can’t drink anymore?” or “Your forbidden alcohol now, right?”, and for a long time I found it difficult to answer them. Mainly because it implies some sort of defect, moral or otherwise, on my part. This is not so. I cán drink alcohol, and nobody can forbid me to buy a bottle of wine and drink it. However, I choose not to, because I know what it will bring me.
This puts me in the driver’s seat and focuses me on the positive things I gain from not indulging in this one thing.
Theory into Practice
Since then, I have tried to apply the same principle to various other parts of my life that need fixing, for instance the amount of debt I have. Today I had place a particularly unpleasant call. I knew I was going to receive rough, even unfair, treatment. I also knew that I most likely would get angry. But I also reminded myself that I can choose my reaction to the situation, which I myself had created. In the end both my predictions came true. In fact, I am still angry. But I didn’t take it out on the clerk who was only doing her job, I got the information I needed, wrote the letter they wanted and posted it, which was all I could do.
That, in my opinion, is real freedom.
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This entry was posted on Monday, April 27th, 2009 at 16:17 and is filed under Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
