Archive for July, 2009

Week three of days off…
It’s getting to be quite a ride, and harder than I thought.
Last week was bad. Without feeling I am dramatising I can say that it was one of the worst weeks I had in a long time.
The whole week I had that feeling that I was supposed to “do” something and… »

Wow, days off are busier than I thought.
I’ve actually done more social things in the last few days than I usually do.
That’s not a bad thing, just a little bit surprising.
I went to a party on friday, and I have concluded that parties where they have nothing to sit on and just one room filled… »

Small update, just to let everyone know I have not disappeared off the face of the earth.
Days off are days off, after all.
I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my days off, although I still need to get to grips with not actually having to do anything. Still, that’s a relatively minor problem.
I’ve been helping out people with… »

Well, I’m officially on my days off today.
I had a last appointment at City Hall to sort out some official stuff and now I am basically free! Weird expression, really, I am hardly chained to the wall at my job, but you know what I mean.
Which I think I managed about 15 minutes, because I… »

Just woke up from a looooong sleep!
Yesterday I had a long overdue talk with my counselor and it was very good. It’s good to be able to talk to someone who is there to listen, take what you say within the larger context of where you are coming from and getting advice on points you… »

I don’t really like days off, I never have.
I find it very difficult to keep myself busy. Time just seems to stretch out before me during the day, and at the end of the day so little is left.
It’s something that most people in the clinic had problems with, and I still have to work… »

Well, it seems I finally have found a time for Zazen that suits me.
I have been struggling to find a time that works for me and doesn’t feel rushed. I don’t like it when I feel like I am squeezing it in because “I have to”, which is what I had been doing.
I’ve been so… »

I found a secondhand Dutch copy of the book that pointed me to Zen yesterday!
It’s a book by Peter Muryo Matthiessen called Nine-headed Dragon River: Zen journals, 1969-82.
It’s a beautiful diary about his experiences with several Zen groups and it’s still inspiring. I’m very happy to have a copy again.
There also was a small clipping… »

I’ve been looking for a good online text of the Tipitaka for a while now and found a good Wikia finally.
It’s added in the links:… »

Had a bit of a hard realisation today, over a small thing really.
I wanted to make a salad, due to it being swelteringly hot today, but there was a nasty bump when planning it.
It may seem weird, but I can’t use balsamic vinegar, and I just realised it today.
It’s not that I am afraid there… »