Alarm Bells

Basics

By Anitya

Well, after last post I feel a lot better.
These things come in waves.
One thing I realised is that I was falling into an old trap and that is trying to live my life to what I think are other people’s expectations of me.
That’s always a mistake. I can only live my life doing what I… »

Jealous

By Anitya

Had a bit of a difficult week.
One of those weeks where nothing seems to work or fit.
I felt down, irritated and slow.
I’ve been searching for things that may have caused it, but I’ll probably not find it. Sometimes you just are down and irritated and slow.
One thing I know that does contribute to my mood… »

Work and Shame

By Anitya

Well, talk about getting back into the rhythm of work…
The last two days I worked with much enthousiasm and as a result I could barely keep my eyes open past eight o’clock in the evening!
At least I now wake up at an early hour again, so basically I am back to a more normal day/night… »

Just a Guy

By Anitya

I’ve been having a bad few days.
I’ve been irritated, angry, confused and frustrated with myself.
The problem is some old behaviour that I thought I’d lost has been resurfacing and I can’t seem to shake it.
The old problem is unconcious perfectionism.
Before I went into therapy I was what they call an overachiever. No matter what I… »

Dream Drinking

By Anitya

I just woke up from a dream in which I had been drinking.
It’s a fairly common thing for ex users, I’ve noticed.
You dream vividly about using the substance you were addicted to.
I didn’t get them while in the clinic, but since I got home I have had two or three, which makes tonight’s four.
In my… »

Anitya’s Buddhist Blog

Weblog by an ex addict about ordinary life from a Buddhist perspective.

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